My Testimony

The reason we share our testimony is to bring glory to God. When we are walking with Him and have been reborn, we become a living, breathing, walking testimony for what He has done. It isn’t easy. It goes against everything we find comfort in, but I want to be found faithful and I want to obey. I want my entire life to reflect my gratitude to the Lord.

Childhood

The enemy dug his claws into my life very early on. The enemy hates children and he hates that we are made in the image of God. He finds a way in through fear, abandonment, trauma, heartbreak and confusion to fill our minds with lies and BUT GOD

I spent my childhood and teen years searching for security, comfort, validation and identity in a world that could never give it to me.

I was raised by my mom and grandma, alongside my sister in an all-female household. I have seen my dad a handful of times throughout my life and my mom never dated so there wasn’t a father figure in sight.

Growing up without a father can lead to searching for what you are missing in all the wrong places. My mom and grandma are reliable, thoughtful, giving, generous people but they didn’t know Jesus.

I remember my anxiety and fear began at the age of five. I would have nightmares, see dark figures around the house, always felt like I was being watched, I had imaginary friends and my mind would sometimes fixate on the thought of death and what happens after we die. I hated going to school because I felt like I could hear the thoughts of my classmates, it was heavy. I experienced a lot as a child that I now know were not of God.

And the enemy would stir things up differently in every season of my life.

By the time I got to middle school, the depression and anxiety had gotten much worse. I found some peace in writing, I wrote poems, songs, I journaled everything but unfortunately it got so bad that I began to self-harm to take my mind off the emotional torment I was experiencing. I was even Baker Acted at the age of 15. I am a first-generation Christian so growing up, I had no idea who Jesus was, never heard about the Holy Spirit or the Gospel but looking back on my life, I can see the Lord in every moment of all of it.

The weirdest things would happen in my life. I would always feel the need to defend myself. I had people lie about me, talk behind my back, hate me for no apparent reason; this went on for years, but nobody would ever be willing to sit down and talk about anything. I had no opportunity to share my side of any story, and nobody has ever apologized to me for any of it.

The enemy will use anybody he can; which is one of the reasons why gossip is evil.

By the time I was 13 years old, I had a boyfriend. I have no idea how this was allowed to happen but it lasted two years and it was extremely toxic and traumatic. After that relationship ended, I immediately jumped into another relationship that lasted on and off for 8 years. I loved him, but it was another toxic situation, especially for a 15-year-old (children should not be dating).

Since I was a child, I had this void and I was out in the world searching for ways to fill it. It’s a lie from the enemy that we can find our identity, validation, peace and acceptance in this upside-down, broken world, but only Jesus can do that.

The Bible says: The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. John 10:10

We are to plead the blood of Jesus over our lives and over our children. Spiritual warfare is real and we have authority in Christ to trample serpents and scorpions. Luke 10:19

These are things the enemy doesn’t want us to know. He wants us to be deceived, distracted and dead.

We do not wrestle against flesh and blood. Ephesians 6:12

The enemy may have attacked early on, but he doesn’t own our future. If you give your life to Christ you will belong to Him and it’s so important to teach our children about Jesus because if we don’t, they will believe that the world is all there is and that what the world says, goes.

Sixteen

I became pregnant at sixteen. I was immediately in love and knew that I was going to have him. My mom supported me completely through it all. Understandably, I had family who were shocked and upset, and some suggested an abortion, but nobody was changing my mind. My pregnancy was perfect. I loved every moment of it.

On May 29, 2007, I gave birth to my son, Julian. He was the tiniest most beautiful little human I had ever laid eyes on. He was the greatest gift of my life and my best friend. My entire world revolved around him and making sure he lived a beautiful life and he did.

I never met a more funny, kind, grateful, thoughtful, loving, joyful human in all my life. Julian was perfect.

Julian’s dad was a great father, but we struggled a lot as a couple. There was so much anger and insecurity between us, and we weren’t mature or aware enough to handle it in a healthy way, so there was always something going on between us.

Four years after having Julian, I became pregnant with our daughter, Alivia. We got engaged and kept trying to make things work.

My beautiful girl was born in July 2011, and everything felt perfect for a while. I had my babies, I was back in school and so grateful to have the family, support, love and life I had.

The Wilderness

Julian had just started kindergarten when he complained of a fever and headache. My grandma picked him up from school early and I took him to the doctor that Friday afternoon, but they had run out of strep tests and told us to come back the next day.

We went home, and I made him comfortable. We went to bed.

In the middle of the night, he came into my room and asked if he could sleep with me. I said, “Of course, baby,” and we cuddled up for the last time.

The next morning at the doctor's office, he started to look worse. They told us to go to the hospital for an MRI. I saw patches on his hands after walking outside and I threw him in the car and drove, fast. I just remember telling him everything was going to be okay.

At some point, I grabbed my mom from her job. I don't even remember doing that.

The moment we pulled into the ER, he began gasping for air. My mom took him and ran inside while I grabbed his sister from the car.

By the time I reached the room, he was having a seizure. They tried to bring him back for 45 minutes.

I paced. I prayed. I begged God to keep him alive. Our whole family showed up and waited in the hallway.

I had just sat down in a chair when the doctor came out and said,

“Julian died today.”

After that moment, my life went dark and my hatred for whoever I assumed God was, set in.

This was the greatest shock and heartbreak to happen in our family. EVERYTHING changed from that moment on. We found out a couple months later that Julian passed away from Acute Myocarditis, he contracted a virus from school that went to his heart. He was a perfectly healthy, active, full of life little boy and within a day of his symptoms, he was gone.

I threw myself into fundraising, researching myocarditis, connecting with other grieving mothers, writing, sharing my grief online and raising awareness around grief and myo. Nothing in this world prepares you for losing a child. I was angry, I was so sad; a sadness that is so profound, so heavy and felt even in your bones. I tried to escape in any way I could. I lived like a zombie after that, I was the walking dead.

His dad and I fought constantly. We were grieving very differently. He wanted us to be a family, but I couldn't bear to be a family without Jay. I just wanted to be alone. I was struggling to even take care of my daughter. It was all impossible. 

Eight months after we lost Julian, his dad took his own life.

I thought I was in bad shape before, but that... that sent me and the storm that followed was beyond anything I could have imagined. The drama, the hatred, the judgment, the rumors, the harassment - LORD, it was bad. I was smoking, drinking, telling all my business, I was out all the time seeking distraction, I was involved in things that were against what I believed in because I didn't care about anything or anybody. I lived in this victim mentality for a long time.

I know the only reason I survived all of it was God. 

I obviously didn't see Him in it then. But I can see Him in it all now.

It is written: The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

The Deception

One year after Julian’s dad, Steven passed away; I met and fell in love with someone. It all moved very quickly, and I personally would never recommend anybody do what I did.

Grief blinds and consumes you. I just experienced major trauma and I chose to get involved with someone but that two year relationship blessed me with my third and last baby, a little blue eyed girl who lit up my life and changed everything and it catapulted me into the next season of my life. Though he was not my person, I am forever grateful for what came from those years and the years after. Again, even through the heartbreak and pain, I can look back now and see God in all of it.

Going through a breakup while I was still grieving everything I had already lost was intense. It took me a long time to heal from that but I did and I’ve been single ever since. That breakup sent me on what I thought was a self-discovery and healing journey. I started modeling for tattoo magazines and became more comfortable showing my body online. At the time, I saw it as empowerment. I thought I was finally becoming confident, independent and free.

During those years, I also sought out mediums because I desperately wanted to connect with Julian and Steven again. I didn't understand what Scripture says about attempting to communicate with the dead. I was grieving and searching for any way to feel close to the people I had lost.

At the same time, I started searching for healing spiritually. I researched chakra balancing, energy work, past lives, Akashic records, light work, spells, massage therapy, you name it. I did it all.

If it promised healing, enlightenment or some deeper understanding of myself, I wanted to know about it. I didn't know the Lord, so I had no idea that the things I was turning to for healing were actually pulling me further away from the One I truly needed. I thought I was finding myself. I thought I was healing myself. I thought I was becoming spiritually enlightened. I thought I was this self-healing goddess witch, and I was proud of it. I had spent my entire life searching for something to fill the void inside of me. The search just looked different now.

Instead of looking for it in relationships, I was looking for it within myself and in spirituality. I thought I had finally found the light. I had no idea I was being deceived.

It is written: In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. 2 Corinthians 4:4

Deeper into Deception

I became a massage therapist and Reiki healer and practiced for about seven years. My intention was to help people heal. I didn't know any better at the time. I was constantly drained, but I believed it was because I was sensitive and absorbing other people's energy. The practices I was involved in would give me a temporary high or sense of peace, but eventually, I always ended up right back where I started.

The people mentoring me called me a “lightworker.” I was told I was spiritually gifted and even destined for the occult. At the time, I thought I had finally discovered who I was and what I was meant to do. I believe the enemy knew exactly where I was vulnerable. I wanted purpose. I wanted healing and the deeper I searched for those things apart from God, the deeper into deception I went.

At one point, I was even hypnotized because I wanted to stop feeling my emotions. I dove further into spells and witchcraft, still searching for the peace I could never seem to hold onto. I became obsessed with self-help books, tarot cards, rituals and isolation. Whenever I felt lost in life, I turned to astrology or spiritual readings for a quick hit of reassurance. I started meditating while I was in massage school. During meditation, I began having visions and hearing voices. I thought it was God. I didn't know how to test what I was experiencing because I didn't know Scripture, and I didn't know the voice of the Lord.

That's the part I think is important to understand: I genuinely thought I was on the right path. I wanted to help people. I wanted healing. I wanted truth. I just didn't know Jesus.

A friend and I eventually started our own women's circle called The Goddess Space. We led beach meditations, chakra healings and even hosted retreats. We chanted to the moon, followed moon cycles, shared stories and meditated together. We thought we were connecting with something spiritual, but we were worshiping creation instead of the Creator. We thought we were goddesses and master manifesters. Ha. I attended other spiritual ceremonies and surrounded myself with people who claimed to be enlightened, but something always felt off.

There was often this sense of superiority as though having certain spiritual knowledge made someone more evolved or enlightened than everyone else. Still, I kept searching. Life was a constant cycle of highs and lows, moments where I thought I had finally figured everything out, followed by moments where I was right back where I started. I had spent years searching for healing everywhere except at the feet of the One who could actually heal me.

If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. John 15:19

The Pursuit

The year I lost my son (2012) and the year I lost his father (2013) were hands down the darkest years of my life but 2022 was on a different level from the moment the year began. The spirit of death was hovering over my life but it’s also the year the Lord was pursuing me the most.

I had gotten myself into a situation that completely consumed me. I was drowning in anxiety, depression, confusion and lust. I completely lost myself in every area of my life. everything was falling apart. I was never a promiscuous woman, but my thoughts had become extremely lustful. At the time, I didn't understand how much my thoughts were affecting me or how important it was to guard my mind. I know now that God was never going to lead me into lust or lead me toward a man through lust.

I remember sitting in my car one day wrestling with a decision. At the time, I thought it was just my heart and my mind arguing with each other. But I now believe it was the Lord and Satan; a spiritual war I didn't understand yet and the Lords voice I didn't yet know. I chose the way of the devil.

What followed were eight months of darkness. 

For God is not a God of confusion but of peace. 1 Corinthians 14:33

BUT GOD because right there, in one of the darkest seasons of my life, I heard the Gospel for the first time. A friend of my mom's would talk to me about Jesus every time I visited. He would see my tarot cards and ask me why I used them. He was patient and kind, but he also never missed an opportunity to point me toward the Lord. I didn't realize it then, but seeds were being planted. 

I remember telling my mom and her friend one day, “I'm so tired of the same cycles repeating. Every time I take one step forward, I get thrown back ten.” Her friend looked at me and said, “You have demons.” I was like...“What?” I didn't even believe in Satan.

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.

I had spent years believing in energy, spirits, manifestation, tarot, astrology, past lives, all kinds of spiritual things but somehow, the devil wasn't part of that.

Around the same time, I read a book that opened my eyes to the idea of spiritual warfare and the ways the enemy can influence our thoughts and keep us trapped in deception.

My mom's friend sent me Derek Prince’s Deliverance video. I watched it and I began to recite prayers occasionally. I had no idea what I was doing. I didn’t know Jesus. I still hadn't surrendered my life to Him. But something was shifting.

I found a prayer concerning curses and prayed this:

"Father, I ask you first to forgive me for my sins and cleanse me from any area where I have allowed the devil to enter my life. I renounce any involvement with the works of darkness. In the name of Jesus, I now cancel every curse, and Father, I ask you to forgive the people who have spoken them against me. I thank you that those curses will no longer operate against me. In Jesus' name, they are broken right now, by the power of Almighty God. I cancel every evil that was spoken against me and ask you to cover me and my family with your protection according to your Word in Psalm 91" In Jesus' name. Amen.

One night, I asked God to show me His will for my life before I went to sleep. So I did. That night, I had terrifying nightmares about my daughters dying. The devil had such a hold on me and he could feel me slipping away. He made God's will look and feel like a nightmare so I would run right back to him. I was beginning to recognize the spiritual battle that had been present all throughout my life.

Everything I believed was being challenged. God was revealing things to me that I had never seen before. The Gospel had been spoken to me. I was learning about Jesus here and there. I was beginning to understand that there was an enemy. And slowly, the worldview I had built my entire identity around was starting to crack.

The End of Myself

I started getting physically sick at the beginning of the year and that only got worse month after month. I lost so much weight. My menstrual cycles were lasting over 2 weeks, I was losing so much blood and I was in and out of the hospital. 

By the end of 2022, I didn't want to live anymore. I woke up every day with a heavy heart and dark thoughts. I remember texting my sister and telling her I thought I was cursed, that I could physically feel the curse on my life.

I remember leaving the beach after a sunset one night and writing this because my soul was just so tired:

My life has been all about healing.
I am constantly healing from something.
From loss, heartbreak or lost opportunity.
It is always something.
I am always trying to put things back together again
and starting over.
I want it to end. I need a break.
I want things to last for once.
I am done healing and working on myself all the time.
My life is just a series of “just kiddings.” One thing after another.
Over and over again. I need a break from healing.
I need to breathe for once.

That year, I stopped meditating. I started experiencing more frequent sleep paralysis. Even tarot cards no longer gave me that temporary “high” I had relied on for so long.

In December 2022, I made a post saying I was going to try life again but with God. It’s wild to look back on because I still didn't know who He was. But I was starting to use His name more.

The Encounter

Then, in early 2023, I ended up in the hospital again. My cycles had become so heavy that I was losing dangerous amounts of blood. I became severely anemic and the fatigue felt like if I fell asleep, I wouldn't wake up.

While I was waiting for a blood transfusion, I looked up at the TV and saw the words: “Blood poisoned with demons.”

I said, “Oh heck no.” I was terrified. But also, what did that mean?!

Later that night, in between my blood transfusions, alone in the hospital room I called out to God. I said to Him, “I have tried everything in this world; the only thing I haven’t tried is You.”

I don’t remember all I said to Him that night, but I surrendered to whoever He was. Nothing crazy happened. I didn’t see vision and the room didn’t spin, but I walked out of there CHANGED. The old Cait was gone.

The only way I can explain it is that I was baptized with the Holy Spirit. I had encountered His presence. I called out to Him out of desperation and He answered. After everything He still rescued me.

He pulled me out of the darkness and into the light. It’s like my heart finally said, “God, I don’t know you, but I am yours”. And He took over.

You never know what God is going to use to save your life. I was blind. I was lost. I was spiritually oppressed. I had reached my lowest point. I entertained some embarrassing things. I chased things that were never mine. And somehow God took even the things I was ashamed of and used them to bring me to the end of myself. It was like He said, “I love you, daughter. Watch how I use this.”

After that night, I became very aware of my sin. I didn't even know what sin was before that night. Suddenly, I began seeing my life differently. I also began realizing the seriousness of where I had been spiritually. I now believe that if I had died separated from Christ, I would have entered eternity without Him.

But I WAS CHANGED. I WAS MADE NEW. I WAS BEING SANCTIFIED AND CONSECRATED FOR HIS GLORY!!

I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4

Deliverance 

:The Action of being Rescued or Set Free

My energy started returning. My cycles eventually normalized. And then something else started happening that completely blew my mind. I started coming across women who had left the New Age and found Jesus. Wait. This happened to other people too?!

For years, I thought I was enlightened. Now I was finding testimony after testimony from women who had practiced many of the same things I had and had walked away from all of it for Jesus.

Back in that hospital room, I had told God I would go to church and read the Bible. So I did. I got back home and I started watching The Chosen, and although it's not completely biblically accurate it helped me begin to understand the character of Jesus and made me want to know Him more. 

There was a scene in the show that said:

"You did not lose time, it just got rearranged but you are gaining it all back right now".

and I cried happy tears.

That same day, I ordered my first Bible off Amazon, and I was then led to a church. I went alone and I remember walking in and just being in awe.

Then, in April 2023, I was baptized. When I came up out of that water, I felt born again. It felt like revival. It was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. And Jesus didn't just change me..

He changed my home. The atmosphere of our home is different. My daughters are different. They have a true heart for Jesus, and knowing that my girls get to grow up with a foundation in Jesus is one of the greatest blessings to witness. I didn’t have that, and it’s everything I could want for their lives.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.  Psalm 23:6

Made New

In the beginning of my testimony, I mentioned that I spent so much of my life feeling like I needed to defend myself. I don't anymore. The Lord defends me now. Jesus radically and permanently changed my life and following Jesus didn't mean that everything in my life suddenly became perfect, it meant He started sanctifying me.

There are things I once loved that I don't even desire anymore. Things I defended that I eventually became convicted of. Things I thought were freedom that I can now see kept me in bondage. Some things He removed immediately. Others He dealt with slowly, one layer at a time. And He's still working on me. I don't share these things to present myself as some perfect Christian. I'm not. I share them because there should be evidence when Jesus changes a life.

And this isn't just behavior modification. I spent YEARS trying to modify myself. I tried everything the world had to offer to help me. THIS IS RESTORATION, REDEMPTION AND NEW LIFE!!

The woman I tried so desperately to heal, find and create on my own had to die so that I could finally become who God created me to be. Before Jesus, I didn’t see anything wrong with the way I was living. I used to think, “Well, I haven’t murdered anyone or intentionally hurt anybody… I’m doing fine.” LOL no. I was dead in my sin, from head to toe. But when Jesus stepped in, everything shifted.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17

I stopped posting for attention or validation. I used to crave being seen, liked, and praised. Now, I care only about reflecting Him, not myself. I stopped putting my will above God’s. Everything used to revolve around me. Now, I live to glorify Jesus in all I do. His will, not mine. I stopped entertaining relationships God never sent. I used to respond to everyone, even let old connections back into my life just to be nice. Not anymore. I pray first, I use discernment, and I protect the peace God gave me. I stopped using foul language and making jokes that grieve the Spirit. Before Jesus, the F-word was every other word out of my mouth. Now, it literally sounds like nails on a chalkboard. I want my words to honor God. I stopped listening to music that fed my flesh. I don’t listen to anything that glorifies sex, pride, or wickedness. Secular music is fine if it’s clean, but the stuff I used to play? Absolutely not. That door is closed.

I stopped battling depression and anxiety. After my encounter with Jesus, that heaviness lifted almost instantly. I haven’t been in that dark place since. Praise God. I have unexplainable peace and a sound mind. The static that used to always be there is gone. I stopped numbing pain with distractions and substances. I haven’t had a drink since the end of 2022. I used to smoke CBD daily to calm my anxiety. Now I don’t need it. Jesus set me free.

I stopped seeking approval from man. I didn’t realize how bad it was until God opened my eyes to my sin. I don’t need to be liked, followed, or accepted. I’m already chosen, loved, and secure in Christ. I no longer perform for worth, I rest in who He says I am.

I stopped playing with witchcraft and “harmless” spiritual trends. Horoscopes, crystals, manifesting, all of it is demonic. New Age is not light; it’s deception. God alone is enough.

I stopped wearing revealing clothing. I used to say I was just proud of my body but really, it was just another way to get attention. Now, I dress modestly because my body is a temple. Not only that, I’ve learned that modesty isn’t just about what you wear, it’s about your heart’s posture. Are your words and actions also honoring to God? Because modesty is deeper than clothes. It’s your character. You can't be a Proverbs 31 woman with a filthy, perverted mind and mouth.

I stopped entertaining men. I don’t follow them, I don’t respond to them, and I don’t seek their attention. If marriage is God’s will for me, He will bring the right man in the right way so I’m not worried about missing out on anything. I stopped lusting. I guard my eyes and ears. If a show, song, or movie stirs up my flesh, I turn it off. I’ve already lived that life no thank you. I’ve chosen to remain abstinent until marriage. 

Sin leads to death and I am not going to hell because a man gave me attention. Purity is a choice I make daily, not because it’s easy, but because I want to honor God with my body and my life. My heart is so close to the Lord that a man will need to go through God to access me and if that means being single forever, I will be at peace with that because His will, not mine. The most dangerous place you can be in life is out of the the will of God.

There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.  Proverbs 14:12

I stopped feeling lost and confused. I know who I am and why I’m here. My purpose is to look like Jesus and obey the assignments He gives me. He has led me through things I never thought I’d survive. For that, I’m so grateful. I don’t want my plan anymore. I want whatever He wants for my life.

Revelations

The Lord showed me there were generational curses operating in my family. Things I had lived through my entire life suddenly started connecting in ways I had never noticed before.

There were patterns of deaths of the males in my family, sickness, offense, betrayal, bitterness, unforgiveness, secrets, trauma, addiction, broken relationships, teen pregnancy, fear, anger, and bondage that didn't begin with me.
 
There were things that had traveled through generations of my family, and until I knew Jesus, I didn't even know to look at them spiritually. The Lord began showing me the patterns. The things that seemed to repeat themselves from one generation to another.

And one of the greatest parts of this is that we are breaking generational curses over here! I didn’t grow up with Jesus but my daughters are! Generations before us didn’t follow His commandments but we are and we will continue to pass down the Gospel for generations to come. We will speak of His faithfulness and we will continue to share our testimonies!!

Set Free by the King

I used to wonder why I had survived so much. Why did my life have to look the way it did? Why so much loss? Why did I spend so many years searching? Why did God allow me to wander for so long before I finally found Him? I don't pretend to have every answer. But I do know that God has not wasted any of it.

The grief. The heartbreak. The searching. The New Age. The witchcraft. The self-help. The false freedom. The woman I used to be. He has redeemed all of it.

Romans 8:28 says that God works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

I am living proof that your past does not disqualify you from being used by God. I spent years participating in things I now warn people about. I believed lies and then helped spread some of those same lies to other women because I genuinely believed I was helping them.

That's part of why I refuse to be quiet now. My assignment while I am here is to expose the lies of the enemy and proclaim the Lord’s truth. I am called to share this with women living like the old me. Women walking in complete deception, women who love God but haven’t encountered Him and are still of the world. I have lived it, I can see it, I can speak on it.

I am held accountable for the gifts and the wisdom the Lord has placed on my life. I can’t and will not remain quiet about it. After I was saved, I remember saying I didn't need social media anymore and I don't, lol. But before Jesus, I used social media to share my sin. I heard the Lord tell me to share Him, share what He has done, who He is, and what He has taught me. He told me to plant seeds, to go be an ambassador for the Kingdom and a witness everywhere I go.

Not because I know everything. Not because I have everything figured out. But because I know what He did for me. I know what it's like to desperately search for peace. I know what it's like to believe you're healing while becoming more bound. What the Lord has done for me, what He has taken me from, how He has shown His face to me, and everything He has done in both the physical and spiritual, I will never be able to repay Him..

So every single day, I ask God to make me more holy, to make me more like Him. I want my life to be pleasing to Him, that is my desire now. Praise the Lord for conviction! Satan can remind me of who I was all he wants. All it does is remind me of what God did. The devil always loses. He will always fail. I know what it's like to live in bondage and now I know what it's like to be set free by the King.

Set Free by the King belongs to the Lord. He is just using me to tell you about it.

I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleannesses, and from all your idols I will cleanse you. And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules. Ezekiel 36:25-27